I’m an introvert by nature. I like my own company and I find being around people for more than a few hours very tiring. I also pick up on people’s emotions a lot – for example, if the people I’m around are happy and outgoing, I will be too. But because of this, I’m conscious of the people I spend time with.
My last article was about how people are constantly changing and that it’s a good thing. Sometimes, people just don’t ‘match up’ any more. I first noticed this a while ago, when I began feeling really drained whenever I was with a certain friend. But I tried to push that aside for a while, because I didn’t want to stop hanging around with this person and it’s pretty much impossible to stay away from someone who is in the same group of friends as you anyway.
It wasn’t until someone actually said to me, “They aren’t good for you – you just don’t get on and it brings you down to pretend you do” that I really faced the fact I couldn’t keep breaking my back for this person any more, especially when they hadn’t even realised I was.
This friend is in no way a bad person – they have done nothing wrong, which I think made the situation a lot harder. If this person had treated me badly, I would have been able to cut them off and have a reason to say “actually, I don’t hang around with them anymore because of this” and my friends would understand and respect that. But I didn’t. I barely understood it myself and it took me a while to accept that I didn’t need a reason other than “I just don’t get along with you” and that I shouldn’t feel bad for not wanting someone in my life.
People are different and somewhere along the line that got lost. Not everyone will get on, and sometimes there isn’t a reason for that. ‘You just aren’t my kind of person” isn’t an insult, it’s a fact, and one that many have forgotten. I know it’s upsetting when someone doesn’t like you, but there are people you dislike too. That’s human nature and I think it’s about time we stopped feeling bad about it.
Words: Zoe Wallbank
Image: Harry Johnson